My granddaughter asked me the other day, “When are you going to be finished with your book?” She wasn’t satisfied with the answer, “I really don’t know.” She didn’t understand, and I have no idea how to explain to an 8 year old what I’m facing as far as finishing my first book.
I’m still in revisions. I’m reasonably sure I’ll be here for a while. I seem to have a fondness for the words ‘and’ and ‘as’. I use them a lot. I have been through my entire book three times deleting these words, making stronger sentences. I’m still finding the worrisome little creatures. They plague me. They haunt me.
In the process of this seemingly endless search, I am also trying to add ‘depth’ to my writing. While this is new to me, it’s not as hard as eliminating my creature words. I’m hoping for that last read through when I am finally satisfied enough to say, “Here beta reader, tell me what you think.” I know that all writers get to that point, but do they actually GET there, or do they just get tired of going over the same pages again and again?
I’m sure I’m overthinking. I’m definitely procrastinating. I’ve never put off anything before. I’m one of those do-it-and-get-it-done personas. Maybe the past couple of weeks is catching up to me. I probably need to step away for a day or two, but I’m not sure I can afford the time. I have so much work to do on this book before I can send it in for that (?) final edit.
I spend hours on the phone talking to a fellow author. She knows my doubts and fears. She is always there to listen and to encourage me. She is my personal cheerleader and critic. I admire her and her talent. She makes it look easy. I know it’s not. I know her doubts and fears too. I am not alone. We are in this together. She knows I’m going to do this to the best of my ability. Her faith in me keeps me afloat. I hate to disappoint my friends.
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The beauty of a blog that is started days in advance of the due date is that you can save it, adding on as a thought comes to you. In my case, it was a good night’s sleep. I’m rested, refreshed, ready to tackle … maybe not the world, but definitely my book. I’m looking forward to the weekend and making progress on my story. It’s amazing how much your attitude can change in that short span of time. Yesterday, I was second guessing myself and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Today, I’ve got this.
Never give up on your dreams,
~Madison
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